Balancing Ambition

Checks & Balances

To provide structure to my life, I have implemented a creed:

My practice is my art.

My intention is my resolve.

I am the product of my effort.

Although developed to define my physical training pursuits, I have found that there is tremendous carryover to my lifestyle at large.

In practicing my art, I define myself. Training is my pursuit of mastery, my means of expression, and my development of a higher mind. Similarly, my writing is how I recognize my successes and follies. It is how I put thoughts into experiment and action.

My intention is everything and I fully commit to my goals. In having intent resolve, I may fulfill obligations to myself and others. This manifests in my career work ethic, relationships, and discipline to follow through with what must be done.

I am the product of the effort I put forth in all of my responsibilities. My goal is to be adaptable when new challenges arise. Through right effort, I may transcend yesterday’s boundaries into today's opportunities. I reap the seeds of which I sow.

The Dichotomy

In recent years I have recognized my robotic nature. With the intent of balancing equanimity with loving kindness and compassion, I have realized that I have foregone the latter. I have attached myself to resolution without offering myself grace.

Having been self-critical, I do not want this negative trait to bleed into my relationships with others. That is not fair. My circle deserves more from me. After all, I wish to exemplify leadership and offer hope to those I come in contact with.

Checks and Balances.

To manage my overt Type A personality, I have instituted certain practices in my weekly routine:

Spontaneous Sundays

In honoring my relationship with my beloved girlfriend, I have freed my Sundays for absolute relaxation: no agenda, no pressing matters, just quality time. My goal is to say "yes" to anything that arises (within reason). Although this practice is somewhat new, I will report back on its impending success.

(FYI I am the opposite of spontaneous)

Daily Devotionals

To fulfill my gratitude practice, I like to read Christian devotionals. They remind me of the grace I have been given and my part in living an honorable life. I don't believe that this is a virtuous or praise-worthy practice per se, it's just my method of grounding myself amongst the certain chaos of our current landscape.

(I grew up Christian and lost this practice in college. Through Buddhism, I was able to rekindle my relationship with Christianity).

Basic Breathwork

Once a meditator, I now find solace in a daily mindfulness practice. Being reminded of the power of diaphragmatic breathing through the Original Strength Certification, I practice my breathwork on two daily dog walks. I cue myself to hold my tongue on the roof of my mouth behind my two front teeth. This helps me find immediate relaxation.

Belly breathing release chronic tension in my neck. This practice offers me a deep parasympathetic tone and grounding response within minutes of initiation. Anytime I notice anxiety or stress arising, I journal the stressor, then immediately get to the breath. This is a powerful practice and I encourage everyone to try it.

(Curious to try a breathing practice? I recommend box breathing: inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four. Repeat).

A Loving Reminder

I never thought that I would need to balance my ambition, but as I mature, I notice that checks and balances serve me well. Within my Type A personality, I notice that I can lose the forest for the trees.

And in pondering my later years, I want to maintain the love I have with my partner. I want to read, write, move, and create art with her. Being in my head so much and overtly focused on work is not the person I want to be.

Today's focus can offer freedom, but there can also be balance in the now. So let this blog serve as a reminder to me (and you) of what's truly important.

John Parker

April 10, 2022